March 23 ♥ You Get What You Reward

Did you mom ever say something like this when you were growing up? “You have to finish your vegetables and then you can have dessert.” I know for me that was a powerful motivator, especially since I have a sweet tooth. My mom was using a powerful if-then link: do a behavior and it will be followed by a reward. I know some people say that wanting to do something and then following through should be reward enough but that’s not the way the brain works. When our brain links behavior with feelings of pleasure, we become more likely to repeat that behavior. In essence, the brain “says”, “Ooh, that felt great; let’s have more of that!” Our brains can’t distinguish “good” behavior from “bad”. All our brains know is it felt good, so let’s do it again. The moral of the story: what you reward will produce more of the same. I know I want to stop reading email and Facebook while I’m in bed. So I’ve set up a reward system to pay myself $1 every day I refrain from my bad habit. And as a reminder of my commitment I have a very visible bowl on my desk that is quickly filling up with one-dollar bills earmarked to buy special watercolor paint. And am I ever motivated! The trick is to find the appropriate reward for you. Everyone is different. You’ll want to identify what will lead to that pleasurable feeling in your brain and associate that hit … Continue reading

January 13 ♥ A Year Long Scavenger Hunt

I recently participated in a vision board activity. And I’m really pleased with what I created and where this is going to lead me. I’m sharing this because I thought you might want to create something similar. The facilitator had us select a magazine from a pile of 12 (representing each of the months for 2016), and then quickly leaf through the pages until an image called to us. We then tore out the image and wrote a few words that popped into our heads. We went through this process twelve different times and when the session ended, I had a pile of twelve images with 2-3 words scribbled next to them. I let these images sit for several days until I figured out how to display them and I was going to use them. I decided that I wanted these words, these elements, to have a special emphasis within their designated month. So, for January, my three words are: new experiences, joy, and exhilaration. Sounds like a great way to begin the New Year, right? In February I will be concentrating on surprise, goofiness and the unexpected. Sounds like fun! Each month I will actively be seeking these elements in the people I meet, the places I go and the thoughts I have. And I plan on creating opportunities for my words to manifest in multiple ways. Here’s what January and February look like on my vision board. I’m thinking this is going to be a year long scavenger … Continue reading

Sept. 30 ♥ Tolerations – Time to Clean House

What are the things you’re just putting up with in your life? I mean those things that aren’t quite right and that you plan on fixing? Someday… Today comes, and then tomorrow, and they’re still waiting for some action on our part. The thing about “tolerations” is that they drag us down, many times leading us to feel overwhelmed by the things that keep accumulating over time. And these “tolerations” end up cluttering our minds. They’re an energy drain that distracts us from what’s really important in our lives. Now is the time to identify what you’re tolerating! Think of it as the fall cleanup! The first step is figuring out exactly what you’re tolerating. Your tolerations could be: friendships that are no longer reciprocal, incomplete tasks, frustrations at  home or work, unresolved problems, other people’s or your own behavior, clutter, the “shoulds”, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, lack of exercise or sleep, poor eating habits, waffling on decisions, procrastinating – you get the idea. You may not want to do anything about them right now, but just writing them out will raise your awareness, making you much more willing to start handling, fixing and resolving them. So, make a list of what you’re putting up with at work – and at home – in life – to determine what might be cluttering your mind and slowing you down! Over time and as you think of more items, add them to your list. …gotta run, I’m making my list and checking it twice … Continue reading

Letting Go of Ties to the Past

  If I’m not the same person I was a few years ago, then why do I continue to hold on to objects that were important to me then? It makes sense that I would be finding importance in new things, and that the old things should become less and less significant to me as time goes on and I change more. ~Anais Nin   I’ve been swapping out summer clothes for the warmer sweaters, leggings, and socks. Yup, summer is over, although midday still teases with temperatures in the 60’s. And this has given me the opportunity to reconsider what I’m keeping and what will be going to a consignment shop and Goodwill. Do I really need those shorts that I have to jam myself into? How about all of those “casual Friday” combinations that are no longer necessary for my lifestyle? And dressy shoes? In my cowboy state? All of these, and more, have by-gone days written all over them. And yet they didn’t make the cut when I did the ritual warm weather clothes swap last Fall. Why did I keep them? One reason was “just in case.” As in, just in case I’d take a high-level job again. Or, just in case I needed to get really dressed up. Or, just in case I lost that weight that keeps hanging around my midsection. Right. If I’m really honest with myself I know these things will never happen again. And yet I cling to the possibilities. I … Continue reading

Put on Your Party Pants and Celebrate!

    This week’s blog is a bit different. The past few days I have been celebrating, which just happened to coincide with the Albuquerque Coffee and Chocolate Fest. I’m going to have a buzz for days…     I celebrate myself, and sing myself. ~ Walt Whitman 1st Thanks to those of you who shared your support about my recent health concern. All is well, although it took a while for me to overcome the pent-up anxiety, which I didn’t realize I had been hiding. Sometimes I can carry the strong, tough woman persona a bit too far. I really had been worried but had stuffed those thoughts down inside and carried on. (Old habits die hard.) So, I guess that makes last week’s blog a bit of a lie–but living in the moment is still my goal! 2nd I’ve been working diligently preparing a new FREE teleseminar for you. And now it’s ready! I can’t wait to share the FREE goodies with those who register. More information on how you can Reclaim Your Power can be found here. There are more things in the pipeline for you, too, so stay tuned for upcoming details. 3rd My blog has been chosen as number 28 in list of top 100 life coach blogs to follow in 2013! Here’s the complete listing. This is truly an omg moment. 4th I’ve created my first YouTube video, which explains a bit more about my upcoming teleseminar. Check it out here. Getting to this point involved so … Continue reading