Sept. 28 ♥ Do One Thing Every Day that Scares You

Why would anyone willingly do something that scares them? I can think of many reasons. Being scared certainly pushes you out of your comfort zone. Gets that adrenaline flowing. Wakes you from your lethargy. Puts some oomph in your day. It makes you feel alive. What if you were given the opportunity to do something scary? Would you respond with a “Yes, but…I like my life as it is. Why shake things up? I don’t have time; this is crazy; I can’t. I need a guarantee…” Ah, hello, fear! If you believe something is fearful, then it is – funny how that works. But that also makes the opposite true: believing you can overcome your fear makes things less scary! What if you broke out of the same-old, same-old and pushed your limits? What if you told your fears that you’re in charge and ready to step outside your comfort zone? There are many gifts here, with your name written on them in large, sparkly letters: I can do things I didn’t think possible! I am so proud of myself! I live life big! I can deal with fear! Don’t keep these gifts waiting. The party won’t last forever. Grab the chance to design your life the way you want it. All because you left your comfort zone!   Now It’s Your Turn What have you put off trying because fear got in the way? What small step could you take toward your fear? Who could you tap to support … Continue reading

Sept. 7 ♥ What’s Your Line in the Sand?

What do these sentences all have in common? Sorry, I can’t do that. I’m spread far too thin right now. I will not allow anyone to speak to me that way. I need some time to think about that. These are all statements honoring personal power. Each shows various ways of saying, “No!” firmly and politely. Every one indicates a personal boundary, stated in clear, honest language. Could you say these things when needed? It wasn’t so long ago that these types of statements were hard for me to use. I’d let people manipulate me. I was afraid of confrontation. I swallowed my true feelings. On the surface I looked and acted like a happy camper. But inside…well, I felt depleted, angry and resentful because I willingly sacrificed my serenity for the sake of keeping everyone happy and everything on an even keel—for others but not for me. I let others intimidate and overwhelm me, often bullying me into submission. I let others usurp my personal power. I’m not like that now. So, what changed? I came to realize that it was my responsibility to take care of me. I couldn’t rely on anyone else to do this for me, and more importantly, I didn’t have to have anyone’s approval to do so. I came to believe this but it took longer for me to put it into action. Slowly I came to understand that it was my job to protect my time and energy. I couldn’t be everything to … Continue reading

Aug. 10 ♥ What Is Life Trying to Teach You?

Ever have one of those weeks? Nothing seems to be going right. You’re late for work. The kids dawdle on the way out the door. You run out of coffee. Your son neglects to put gas in your car. Your office feels like it has a swinging door. You’ve got back-to-back meetings, for days. Ah, yes. It can feel as if the world is conspiring against you. But is it? We’ve all had periods where life has felt endlessly overwhelming. And yet the truth is that we always have a choice. We can drown in the “omg, why is all this happening to me?” We can rant and scream and bemoan how hard life is. We can throw a hissy fit at how unfair it feels. We can believe the frustration and misfortunes in our lives are a cruel punishment for past misdeeds. Or… we can take a long, deep breath, step back and then recognize that life is not out to get us, although it can feel that way at times. Life just is. It’s how we react that’s important. Slowly I have come to believe that life is trying to teach us some lesson that we haven’t quite yet gotten. Over time I’ve learned that taking that perspective offers me have a chance at figuring out the learning experience designed just for me. And so my life lessons keep adding up. And maybe by the end of the week I might be a genius, although I think that … Continue reading

July 20 ♥ Why You’re NOT Selfish

I know that “selfish” is a loaded word for many of us. Too often we tangle it up with self-care, thinking that they’re synonyms. And we want to be anything but selfish. Long ago we were encouraged to perfect our nurturing side during our childhood years and so now taking care of others is just our knee jerk reaction. And, of course, if we’re constantly attending to the needs of others, we have little time for ourselves. And what’s the effect of that choice? Exhaustion. Crankiness. Short tempers. I know you get this. And yet that word, selfish, lurks in the background and gets in the way. Because if you don’t do the nurturing, the care of others, who will? It’s time to sharpen our understanding of the S-word. Being selfish is all a matter of degree. Here’s what Merriam-Webster says, “taking care of one’s own comfort, pleasure, or interest excessively or without regard for others. We so often miss that very important detail. Honestly, does that sound like you? Being overindulgent with yourself? That’s not what you’re about. You want to be there for others. You want to be generous. You truly want to nurture. Thinking only of yourself is just NOT in your nature. You really don’t know how to be “selfish” in the dictionary sense. Let’s agree that we’re not being selfish when we devote time to care for ourselves. Because who knows better how to meet our own needs? To restore us, to replenish our batteries, … Continue reading

June 29 ♥ Have You Set the Real YOU Free?

Have you set the real you free? Or are you stuck in presenting an image that is more likely to please others? Far too often we automate our people-pleasing mode because we’re not comfortable in our own skin. The internal voices swirl: “If they saw the real me, they’d turn away.” “I just want to be like them.” “I can’t be what they want me to be.” Notice that all of these thoughts are outward focussed — as if we’re seeking validation from outside ourselves. As if other people’s opinions are more important than our own. Or that it’s more important to be accepted by others than by ourselves. So, we tamp down our own personality, mute our strong points, and try to conform. We wear the plain, tailored blouse when the wild, loud, blotchy-printed top is so much more us. And yet there is the tiniest voice inside that keeps saying, “Please let out the real me. Being otherwise is just so exhausting and phony.” So here’s the deal: you don’t have to make the world like you or validate you. You have nothing to prove! You just need to trust that most people will like you just as you are. And, well, some just won’t. But that’s not your problem. It’s theirs. It’s more important to be genuine, true to yourself, authentic — the real YOU. It takes less energy. And comes from a place of believing, “I am enough.” So, be bold, celebrate who you are and … Continue reading