Feb 22 ♥ Asking for Help Shows Strength and Vulnerability

So many of us shy away from asking for help. Intellectually we know that we can’t do everything on our own, and yet we hold back, fearing that we will appear weak or vulnerable, that we will burden someone, or we’ll get caught in a quid pro quo and be unable to reciprocate, or that we can’t manage on our own and therefore must depend on others. But these are stories we tell ourselves. And so we exhaust, overwhelm or cause injury to ourselves, spinning and spinning because we’d rather tough it out than seek assistance. And in believing these stories we deny someone else the opportunity to happily assist us and share in our burden. Think of a time when someone asked you to help. Did you turn them down? Did you think less of them for asking? Or were you genuinely delighted that you could do them a favor by using your skills? Giving yourself permission to ask for help shows your strength, courage and self-awareness. You recognize that you don’t have all of the answers or skills for every situation. You believe “it takes a village” to get things done. You allow others to shine and experience the joy that comes from giving. And you know that if someone turns you down, it’s not personal. It just means “no”. Asking for help shows it’s possible to be both vulnerable and strong. It’s worth the risk!   Now It’s Your Turn Who can you ask for help from … Continue reading

7 Ways to Spring Clean Your Life

I am never five minutes into stripping the clutter from my life before I start running into the clutter that is my life. ~Robert Brault   Not sure what the weather’s like where you are but here the days are growing milder and my lilac bushes are ready to burst forth. All this new energy signals new life, new beginnings. Spring! For me, this time of year always heralds a time to clear out the cobwebs, dirt and debris gathered over the cold, winter months. I’ve always found it gratifying, once the thorough cleaning is done, to sit back and relish the fresh smell, the shine and sparkle of my surroundings. I sense a real uplift of spirit and permission to start again, unencumbered. So, just as you would spring clean your home, I’m recommending this same reasoning for spring-cleaning our lives. It’s time to get your internal house in order, to get rid of the overload and the mental and physical clutter. To make room for the new possibilities. Let’s take a look at the various aspects of your life, with an eye to spring-cleaning the outdated beliefs and the stuff that’s no longer working. 1. Friends Consider the friends in your life. Which friendships are stale? Or no longer provide a satisfying relationship? Who are you clinging to but have outgrown? It’s time to stop dragging them around hoping things will be different. Life is too short and precious for friendships that are past their sell by date. Find a way … Continue reading

S-L-O-W Down, You Move Too Fast

Slow down, you move too fast, you’ve got to make the moment last Just kickin’ down the cobblestones, lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy ~ Simon and Garfunkel How often do you go ripping through your day, moving faster and faster, getting more and more wound up, and then collapsing at night? Is everything a whoosh and blur as you try to remember the details of your day? Or maybe you just recall what went wrong. Do you keep your days so jam-packed that there’s little time to catch your breath? Ah, yes…you move too fast. When things get frustrating, do you just push harder, determined you will not be thwarted? Do you even stop to realize that you’re juggling more and more things, as your fuse gets shorter and shorter? Welcome to crazy land! I can h-e-a-r you: “I’m not crazy, I’m just really, really busy!” We’ll look at that statement in just a moment. Right after we take a quick break for a word from our sponsor, Sneaky Excuses. Want more sympathy in your life? Want people to know how irreplaceable you are? Try one of these excuses when you just need a bit more recognition for how hard your life is. They’re guaranteed to get people to notice how essential you are! Come on, don’t you need an ego boost today? – my boss expects so much from me, – my kids/family/<fill in the blank> NEED me – if I slow down, NOTHING will get done – … Continue reading

Are You Asking for It?

When was the last time you asked for help? And I ‘m not talking about, “Could you get the door, please?” That one’s too easy, too much of a reflex. So the question is, when did you last ask for help—consciously and deliberately? The “I can’t can’t do this because… I’m physically unable, overwhelmed, constrained by things outside of my control, drowning”…kind of need. For many of us, asking for help is hard…very, very hard. It goes against everything we believe. And exactly what IS it that we believe? Perhaps we believe that we HAVE to do things all by ourselves. This, supposedly, shows that we have great strength. As in, “Wow! Look at her. She can do it all!” Un-huh, right. Or maybe we just don’t trust others. The old, “Nobody can do it as well as me.” Little Miss Perfect title feeling threatened? And then some of us throw out the money factor. “I really, really can’t afford to pay someone to do X.” Really?! Do I hear the martyr somewhere in here? Many of us then go for the double whammy combo, “I don’t have the money and, besides, it wouldn’t meet my standards!” Two for the price of one! I’ve been getting a steady stream of messages from the Universe lately. And the theme consistently has been, “You need to ask for help!” <groan> And my initial reaction consistently has been to ignore, ignore, ignore. Merrily dancing around the inevitable, if I would use logic. My … Continue reading

Who Ya Gonna Call?

All long-lasting fires need an infusion of oxygen as well as fuel. Think of your oxygen as your personal network—perhaps a life coach, affirmations, visual reminders, and your connection to your Higher Power. This is your support system—the people and things that keep you going when the path is fogged in or when you’ve stumbled and it’s hard to get back up. They cheer you on, relentlessly and unconditionally. And, because you share your goals and dreams with them, they can hold you accountable. They can help you keep your eyes on the prize! Your personal support network adds light to your journey’s path and provides warmth to your heart and soul when the expectations of others threaten to freeze-dry your dreams. Those in your support system can walk with you when you grow weary, remind you that you’re tougher and more courageous than you realize, and offer their wisdom and experience. They can join the battle against your fears, call you on the stories you tell yourself, and help you celebrate the “aha” moments. Your only requirement? To ask them for help, which deep down, you know they will gladly provide. You don’t have to create change on your own! Asking for help does not mean we are weak or incompetent. It usually indicates an advanced level of honesty and intelligence. ~ Anne Wilson Shaef Your Call to Action: Who are the people who believe in you, no matter what? How do they show their support for you? Who … Continue reading