You can be pitiful or powerful…you cannot be both.
~ Joyce Meyer
Ever run into people who just seem stuck? Who continually have bad things happen to them—and want to bend your ear about it? There doesn’t seem to be a ray of sunshine in their lives. And being around them feels very uncomfortable.
And I find that so sad. And avoidable.
I’ve noticed these sad people have a lot in common.
They let other people and circumstances define who they are and what they feel. Things happen to them. They have unhealthy relationships and just complain about them. They may have chronic health problems or overwhelming financial concerns. And they truly believe they have no control over their lives.
So, why would someone want to remain stuck in victim mode?
They get sympathy and attention from others, at least for a while. Victims don’t have to take any risks and they don’t have to rock the boat or make any difficult decisions. They just let life happens to them. And perversely, they get to feel superior because of what people do to them.
In all of these cases, they’re giving up their power to someone or something outside of themselves. And they’re doing it because there’s a benefit to that.
And there’s also fear.
Can you see what’s missing for them? Courage, personal responsibility, and action.
We have a personal responsibility to determine who and what we allow into our lives. If we’re in a bad relationship, or a dead end job, or stretched too thin, we can whine and complain, or we can choose to do something about it. We have to own how we want to be treated and value ourselves enough to have the courage to say, “Enough! I’m not going to allow that any more.”
And when we have no choice, say with a major illness, we still are free to decide how we respond to the circumstance. We can view the challenge as an opportunity to grow, to learn new lessons, to expand. Or we can shut down, and play “woe is me.”
We can choose to believe that “life is hard and then you die.” And stay stuck in defeat. Or we can choose to live with passion and purpose. And rise from strength to meet life head on.
So which do you choose to be? Pitiful or powerful? Are you content letting life happen to you? Have you conceded your power to someone or something? Or have you taken responsibility to actively pursue what you want and need in your life?
Your Call to Action:
What was the most pitiful thing you’ve ever done in your life? The most powerful thing? What was different in how you felt in each situation? Which feeling do you want to guide your life from now on? What’s one thing you can do to make that happen?