I recently met an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a long time. We had lots of catching up to do and I was looking forward to hearing where he is in his life, eager to share the various changes that have been going for me.
I began to notice that while he seemed to be asking me about this or that as it related to my life, he constantly turned the conversation back on himself. We didn’t have endless hours for our conversation, so why was he hogging the conversation? Why was everything about him?
I fell more and more into the observer role, rather than as a conversation participant, and realized that I was peeved. I felt unseen and unheard. His interest in me appeared to be very superficial. We parted and I felt let down.
Something I read a few days later caused me to realize what was going on, why I was so bothered by my friend’s behavior. What prompted this awakening? What I read were these words: “If you spot it, you got it!” Cute phrase I thought.
But those words rumbled around in my brain on the back burner – for days. And then, I finally realized that I was so annoyed how my friend twisted every conversation back to himself – because I sometimes do that myself.
And, I really hate when I do that!
Omg, I – was – seeing – myself – in – him! And I most certainly didn’t like what I saw.
My lesson: when someone is irritating me, perhaps it’s because a bit of myself has been mirrored. I’m taking this as a wake-up call that I need to address some personal improvement.
Your call to action?
What pieces of yourself, the ones you’re not too fond of, are showing up in other people? What lesson is there for you? What action will you take?