Letting Go of Ties to the Past

  If I’m not the same person I was a few years ago, then why do I continue to hold on to objects that were important to me then? It makes sense that I would be finding importance in new things, and that the old things should become less and less significant to me as time goes on and I change more. ~Anais Nin   I’ve been swapping out summer clothes for the warmer sweaters, leggings, and socks. Yup, summer is over, although midday still teases with temperatures in the 60’s. And this has given me the opportunity to reconsider what I’m keeping and what will be going to a consignment shop and Goodwill. Do I really need those shorts that I have to jam myself into? How about all of those “casual Friday” combinations that are no longer necessary for my lifestyle? And dressy shoes? In my cowboy state? All of these, and more, have by-gone days written all over them. And yet they didn’t make the cut when I did the ritual warm weather clothes swap last Fall. Why did I keep them? One reason was “just in case.” As in, just in case I’d take a high-level job again. Or, just in case I needed to get really dressed up. Or, just in case I lost that weight that keeps hanging around my midsection. Right. If I’m really honest with myself I know these things will never happen again. And yet I cling to the possibilities. I … Continue reading

Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work. ~ Ralph Marston   How often do you follow this advice? If you’re like many women, you just keep plodding along. Or maybe you tell yourself, “I’ll just finish this one thing, and then I’ll take a break.” But you never do… You tell yourself, “Just one more minute, hour, day, month, year”… yada, yada, yada. Suddenly time has slipped away, and you’re running on empty. Creativity is gone. You’re in a funk and exhaustion is your constant friend. Sadly, life has lost its joy. Sound way too familiar? I get it. I too fall into this trap, often. For the past 6 weeks. I’ve worked incredibly hard, pushing beyond my limits, ignoring signals from my body, neglecting relationships with others, and myself, and falling into unhealthy eating habits. And I know better. This is what I help women recognize in themselves, and learn how to counteract by maintaining balance within their lives. Sheesh, talk about a role model gone bad. I’m sharing this with you because this drive so easily sneaks back into your life and mine without so much as a “May I join you?” And the only time we realize its presence is when we have reached the end of our ropes. When the tension is so great that we want to scream, “Stop!” from the rooftop. When we crumple into a ball of tears, feel completely overwhelmed, … Continue reading

Spreading the Love

I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again. ~ William Penn   It’s time for another Hallmark perfect holiday. I know Valentine’s Day, with its emphasis on romantic love, creates mixed emotions for people. If you’re alone, you feel it more deeply. I’ve you’re in a relationship, you wonder if “they” will remember. It’s so easy to feel left out or to have expectations. What if we turned Valentine’s Day into a celebration of caring for one another? And I’m not just talking about those close to us. I’m including everyone we come in contact with on Feb. 14. What if we practiced random acts of kindness all of Valentine’s Day? What if our goal was to be the Johnny Appleseed of smiles, just for one day? And what if we made it more wonderful by not expecting to be identified with the action?   Your Call to Action How might our small actions make an impact? On the world? On us? What if we acted this way once a week? Go on, give it a shot!   Happy Valentine”s Day, dear ones!   … Continue reading

What’s in YOUR Reflection?

  Everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. We cannot outperform our level of self-esteem. We cannot draw to ourselves more than we think we are worth. ~Iyanla Vanzant   Think back over the past week. Select several things that happened to you. First notice: were there more “good” or “bad” memories? That alone should be an indication of how you view your world. Did you remember the things that were less than what you had desired, made you mad, caused you upset, or were painful? Or, did you recall joyful, fulfilling, fun or successful actions? Feel the difference? Our perspective has a major impact on how we view life and the things that happen. We can CHOOSE to view the world in a positive light—or not. And this correlates to how we perceive our own self-worth. When you approach a situation, do you think, “I’ll be OK no matter what happens.” Or do you “hope for the best but expect the worst.”? Do you label things that happen to you as problems or opportunities? The way we look at life is an immediate reflection of how we view our place in the world, our power, and our self-esteem. If we respect ourselves, possess self-confidence and trust in our ability to land on our feet no matter what, we become resilient to the events in our lives. Things no longer happen “to” us. We lose the victim mentality because we are strong and … Continue reading

Calling All Martha Stewart Wannabees

Hip, hip hooray! Sound the trumpets! Let the crazy making time of year begin! Ah, Thanksgiving, when all the family gathers round the festively decorated table and digs in: to the food and to each other. I don’t know about you, but Hallmark is never going to come to my door and ask to capture my idyllic setting. As our loved ones draw near, the reruns of family drama begin to play out. You know who’s going to have way too much to drink.  You know who will rehash the family feud. You know your mother-in-law, whom you’re certain never wanted you to marry her golden boy, will be there to remind you of the “correct” way to cook the special meal. Pouty, hyperactive, tired children will race through your house. Tension and agitation will lie just beneath the surface. And you will put on your plastic smile. Ah, such sweet memories will be made of this! It’s the time of year when nerves become frayed. There’s too much to do and too many people telling us how to do it. And the media constantly offers up opportunities to compare and contrast how we “should” be celebrating. Isn’t it time to rewrite the script? Take some time to set your intentions NOW to increase the likelihood that you will truly enjoy this season, not just get through it. What does “enjoying the season” mean to you? What will you do for yourself when you feel your blood pressure rising, your temper beginning to flare, or that you are running on fumes? How can … Continue reading