3 Ways to Kiss Envy Goodbye

When I realize that God makes his gifts fit each person, there’s no way I can covet what you got because it just wouldn’t fit me. ~  William P. Smith, Loving Well   I’ve been battling the green-eyed monster lately. The one who preys on my insecurity, and gleefully swooshes in when I’m feeling the least bit shaky about where I’m heading. This sneaky, little <expletive deleted> usually pops up whenever I’m in the midst of other professional women. It nips at my ankles like a young, untrained puppy, peeing on my feet if I try to ignore it. Compare and contrast becomes my modus operandi. So I concentrate on what they have, focusing outward, and not in a good way. I become vulnerable to all of the monster’s lies: They have it so together. They’re wildly successful in their business. They know exactly what they’re doing. They, they, they, they, they…. I succumb so easily, concentrating on what I lack. I’m sure you can relate. We have such a knack for making ourselves feel inadequate. Of trying to live someone else’s life. Because essentially that’s what we’re trying to do. The grass is always greener, yada, yada. It’s a waste of time to talk about why we shouldn’t do this. We already know the reasons. So, how do we get out of this rut? I’m guessing that like me, you don’t want to stay there. What I’ve discovered are 3 effective ways to pull myself away from comparing and focusing … Continue reading

Hey, You! Pay Attention!

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” ~ W.B. Yeats I was driving home one evening recently, reviewing what I had and hadn’t accomplished on my to-do list for the day, mainly concentrating on what I hadn’t gotten done, too often my default brain setting. The radio was tuned to the usual news cacophony, and my mind was churning, anywhere but in the moment. Driving toward home in the mountains, I suddenly I became aware of the rapidly evolving and stunningly forming sunset. The clouds were big and puffy and billowy, making me think of enormous hot air balloons in the sky. The sun’s receding rays tinged these clouds with ever-increasing brilliant shades of yellows, then reds and oranges. The sky was ablaze with color. Oh, my. My breath was taken away, literally. It was a phenomenal sunset. Wow. I began to drive more slowly, to savor the light show, not wanting to miss one minute. I really should have pulled over, but that’s another story. Then I noticed that I was breathing more evenly, the concerns of the day, the “shoulds” having magically melted away. I felt more centered, grateful that Nature had given me a wonderful opportunity to put things in perspective, to consciously choose to savor the moment. My to-do list would still be there but the enjoyment of the ephemeral sunset wouldn’t. As soon as I drove into my driveway, I jumped out of my car and stood … Continue reading

Be Bigger than Your To-do List

One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do them now! ~ Paulo Coelho How often do YOU put off having fun or doing the things you want to do? “Just let me finish one more thing; It’s a weekday, fun happens on my weekends; As soon as…then I can…” Ring a bell? Do you believe that there will always be time enough to do the things you want? Cuz, ya know, you’re like so busy doing the things you have to do…, and well, there are those deadlines…and…and… I, too, am guilty of this, big time. And recently it all caught up with me. Sucked into the vortex of omg I have soooo much to do, it started as I was getting more and more tightly wound up about my work. My self-imposed pressure was sitting heavily on my shoulders. My eyes kept flicking to my self-imposed deadline. And merrily I just kept adding things to my to-do list and more hours to my workday. Add one more thing, sure no prob. And the oh-too-familiar effects of this insanity? I was ignoring those important to me in my life. I was grabbing food and eating on the run. I was getting up earlier and earlier so I could “catch-up. “ Meditation? Nope, no time. I was caught in overwhelm. And yet I kept driving myself, lost in my craziness. Which was followed by the all … Continue reading

Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?

Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work. ~ Ralph Marston   How often do you follow this advice? If you’re like many women, you just keep plodding along. Or maybe you tell yourself, “I’ll just finish this one thing, and then I’ll take a break.” But you never do… You tell yourself, “Just one more minute, hour, day, month, year”… yada, yada, yada. Suddenly time has slipped away, and you’re running on empty. Creativity is gone. You’re in a funk and exhaustion is your constant friend. Sadly, life has lost its joy. Sound way too familiar? I get it. I too fall into this trap, often. For the past 6 weeks. I’ve worked incredibly hard, pushing beyond my limits, ignoring signals from my body, neglecting relationships with others, and myself, and falling into unhealthy eating habits. And I know better. This is what I help women recognize in themselves, and learn how to counteract by maintaining balance within their lives. Sheesh, talk about a role model gone bad. I’m sharing this with you because this drive so easily sneaks back into your life and mine without so much as a “May I join you?” And the only time we realize its presence is when we have reached the end of our ropes. When the tension is so great that we want to scream, “Stop!” from the rooftop. When we crumple into a ball of tears, feel completely overwhelmed, … Continue reading

Serenity: a gift from the Universe

Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” ~ James Baraz   Ah, serenity. The absence of mental stress or anxiety; peace of mind; repose; hearts-ease Who wouldn’t want this feeling? If that’s true, why don’t we have more of this in our lives? The Universe has provided a gift certificate for each of us, so why don’t we redeem it? Come on, you know you really want this? So what’s stopping you? Any of these match your excuses? You believe your schedule can’t handle one more thing. The “shoulds” of your life have persistently loud voices in your head. You’re too busy planning for future contingencies—just in case. You’re addicted to the adrenalin rush of busyness. You continuously play “If only I would have…” for your past actions. Serenity is attainable. One of the keys to serenity is mindfulness, and I’m not talking about a “full mind”; we’re far too good at that definition. What I mean is, an increased and relaxed awareness within your mind. Try out this exercise. And, yes, you really do have a few minutes for this. Before you begin, notice the pace of your breathing and the speed of your heartbeat. Now, take a deep breath and let it out s-l-o-w-l-y. Repeat if needed. Then look around you, right now, wherever … Continue reading