When was the last time you asked for help?
And I ‘m not talking about, “Could you get the door, please?” That one’s too easy, too much of a reﬂex.
So the question is, when did you last ask for help—consciously and deliberately? The “I can’t can’t do this because… I’m physically unable, overwhelmed, constrained by things outside of my control, drowning”…kind of need.
For many of us, asking for help is hard…very, very hard. It goes against everything we believe.
And exactly what IS it that we believe?
Perhaps we believe that we HAVE to do things all by ourselves. This, supposedly, shows that we have great strength. As in, “Wow! Look at her. She can do it all!” Un-huh, right.
Or maybe we just don’t trust others. The old, “Nobody can do it as well as me.” Little Miss Perfect title feeling threatened?
And then some of us throw out the money factor. “I really, really can’t afford to pay someone to do X.” Really?! Do I hear the martyr somewhere in here?
Many of us then go for the double whammy combo, “I don’t have the money and, besides, it wouldn’t meet my standards!” Two for the price of one!
I’ve been getting a steady stream of messages from the Universe lately. And the theme consistently has been, “You need to ask for help!” <groan>
And my initial reaction consistently has been to ignore, ignore, ignore. Merrily dancing around the inevitable, if I would use logic. My belief system always seems to gets in the way.
Except my unplanned convalescence forced me to seek others to drive me places, to prepare my food, and even to help me get dressed. I had no choice. Sometimes it takes a great deal to get my stubborn brain’s attention. I was literally FORCED to ask for help. Or become a frustrated, stay-at-home, very hungry woman who wore the same clothes for days on end. Not a pretty situation.
Other recent dramas have carried the same theme: you can’t do this alone. Over and over, the same message. I think something is trying to get my attention so I can learn an important lesson.
OK, Universe. I hear ya!
Refusing to ask for help when you need it
is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.
~ Ric Ocasek
Your Call to Action:
Think back on the last time you could have asked for help but didn’t. What belief got in the way? What did it cost you to “go it alone”? How can you give yourself permission to ask for help more often?